I've asked myself the question: why it is easy to love and see the best in others, but when it comes to myself, I'm my worst critic? This is something that I have struggled with multiple times and I find myself still working on.

See, the struggle that I have here is that culture today is EATING THIS UP! We are constantly told, "Do what you want", "Love how you want to love", and "Treat yo self", and to some degree yes, but one of the reasons why I struggle with this is because I'm not sure how biblical this is.

Self-care is important, don't get me wrong. I'm the first to say, self-care is self-love, but what is a godly approach to this? What I have found as a healthy balance for myself is to take it to scripture. When I think of self-care, I break it down into 3 parts: Body, Spirit, and Mind, which are all things that the Lord has given us to steward and steward well.

Body

Scripture says in 1 Corinthians 6:19 "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?" but it goes on to tell us that "You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." So you mean to tell me that I can't just do whatever I want my body? Scripturally speaking, no. If you are doing anything that is creating harm to your body which is the temple for the Holy Spirit to dwell within you, then it is our responsibility to maintain it "clean" sort of speak. What we eat, how we keep our bodies active, find time to rest physically, are all things that help maintain a "clean" body. And just to be clear, this is different for every body type. What is good for me, doesn't necessarily mean that it's good for someone else. It's worth doing research on what is beneficial for oneself.

Mind

In recent years, I have found that this is an area where maybe we struggled with the most. Our minds are constantly battling the dopamine of fast pace...well...everything. Social media being one of the biggest of them all. Romans 12: 1-2 "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." There are multiple ways that I think one can renew the mind. We will talk about one of them in the other segment, but immediately off the top of my head, a way to ease the mind is by taking time to disconnect from the media realm. We are constantly feeding our minds with content which can be overwhelming for the mind. Studies actually say that in order for us to be creative, we need to experience boredom. It's hard to do that when we are constantly glued to our phones. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not hating on social media. I use it quite often, but it's learning to give yourself a break from it every now and then and doing other things that can help your mind. For me, I'm trying to pick up reading. If you know me, you know I'm not much of a reader, but I know it's a way to stimulate my mind and grow!

Scripture has also become a way for me to renew and strengthen my mind. It's crazy how just a few minutes in the bible (and in prayer) can COMPLETELY shift your mindset. I find it on the days that I don't, it's easier for me to fall into unhealthy habits (negative thoughts), which then can lead to actually ruining my day. The mind is definitely something that we sometimes undermine and it's one of the areas that can help us do more than we can imagine!

Soul

I saved this one for last because this is KEY for the other two areas to be successful. As I mentioned earlier, whenever I have read the bible and fed my spirit, I immediately benefit from it in all of these areas. Not only do I benefit, but my family, friends, coworkers, and even strangers. Being plugged into the source, walking with God, and actually having fellowship with Him has allowed me to see things the way He does, which in return allows me to want to operate in a way that would honor and serve Him. This is the area that sometimes we lack the most. It's easier to get into the habit of going to the gym, eating healthy, and trying to improve our mindset, but when it comes to our relationship with God, it can be easy to put it on the back burner and say "I'll get to it at some point". I for sure know I've struggled with this in my journey to wellness. I would get up in the morning and not have "enough time" to spend with God because I had to make it out to the gym. Then I'd tell myself I'd "fit it in" at night, and when the time came, I would prioritize social media or spending time with my husband, which are not bad things, but it showed what I put value and worth in. I'm still working on this area by being honest with myself and where I'm at in my walk with God, and sharing that information with those who are close to me. I now start my mornings with a simple prayer of gratitude and really breaking down those things. For example, the fact that we breathe and that that breath has allowed us to wake up in the morning, and that the breath was given to us by God, when you really break down the beauty of breath, you can't help but to come to a place of awareness towards our creator. There's so much more that could be said about this, but I can save it for a different day.

So to love me or love me not...

The way we can learn to love ourselves is by recognizing that we are valuable and we provide value to those around us. In order for us to continue in that, it will require a form of sacrifice in all of these three areas. We always say we "don't have time", but if we are honest with ourselves we know we do, we just don't find it important enough to actually do it. To love yourself means to do the hard work, to become uncomfortable in areas you're not used to, to receive feedback from those you love and care for you, to be honest with yourself, and get after the things you want to improve yourself without excuses. You can do it! Know it takes time and grace, but I believe you can!